5 Nigerians on cohabitating with their partner

We spoke to 5 Nigerian millennials about their experience cohabiting with their romantic partners. Here is what they had to say.

1. We moved in together after two weeks, lmao. After talking & gisting for two weeks. There was no discussion, it was just a question like uh, wanna move in with me since you're still house hunting and need a place? Everyone thought it was chaos because it was so soon. But it worked so much I never bothered getting a place alone, we got another and another together. There were no gender roles when it came to chores, it was always a case of whoever had energy, home first etc. There were specific things we both picked out because we enjoyed doing it or preferred doing it. When it came to money, we kept our finances separate (because it worked for us), but always went 50/50 for things like rent. Other things were just a case by case basis of whoever was available. - Chioma, Lagos

2. We moved in 5 months into the relationship. It just happened, no discussion but he definitely encouraged it. It was fun. There were moments we would fight(argue) and there were really great days also. There were ugly moments too but the great days outweighed them. Money management wasn’t equal. He paid more. We had to get people to do chores at some point cause we weren’t for that life. I had to move out because the relationship ended. Would I consider living with a partner again? No please, I love my space too much. - Feyi, Lagos

3. I moved into his apartment after a couple of months together. I graduated from university and had no place to stay so he offered for me to stay. It was great! Regular sex, going to work and coming back to each other, hosting friends etc. He did the cooking and most of the cleaning because he's just that type of person. I did part of the groceries, electricity bills and just taking care of petty things. We didn't have a clear division for these things. It got awkward when his sister moved in. I had to move out to keep the peace. Co-habitating is definitely a prerequisite to marriage for me. - Preye, Abuja

4. He moved in with me after 3months of being together. He needed a place to stay because he lost the flat he was staying in previously and was on the brink of homelessness. Lol, let’s just thank God that the fighting has stopped. I still hate his untidiness and can’t stand him entering my kitchen alone. I paid almost all the bills for a while because he doesn’t do 9-5. He’s a businessman who has been going through very tough times. It sucks to be the higher earner because I’m expected to pick the biggest share of the bills - rent inclusive. I just moved houses and I thought I was leaving him and his bad habits alone but alas, he has now moved in with me because he couldn’t come up with the funds for his rent - again. With everything I have experienced with this guy (it’s been 4yrs), cohabitation is essential for me. I can’t mess around and go and end up with a crazy(ier) person. - Anne, Ibadan

5. We started living together two years into the relationship. It was a mutual decision because she was relocated to Lagos because of me. It felt great at first, perfect; all the freedom we had always wanted but after a while, it started to feel like maybe it would be good to have some “alone time” and maybe we need to miss each other a little bit. I miss coming back from work and being by myself, in silence and not being interpreted as having a mood. I contribute about 75% financially because I earn more and I do 30% of the chores (except for the cooking, I do 80% of the cooking because I’m better at it and I enjoy it). Would I consider living with a partner again? Yeah well, if this is not my final partner. - George, Lagos

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